The Shopping Trip of WTF! Proportions
by Galefire
Summary: "Kyouhei, if you want to express your feelings for Mei, it's best you do it by giving her something she'll really appreciate, Valentines day IS just around the corner after all." "But Hugh, how can Valentines day be just around the corner? Days can't turn corners, silly!" All Hugh wanted was to help his friend's stubborn relationship, that was it! He shouldn't have to regret this.


**Note:**

**Kyouhei = Nate (Black and White 2 boy. Japanese name)**

**Mei = Rosa. (Black and White 2 girl. Japanese name.)**

**I'm going with the Japanese name for these two for the pure reason I like them better.**

**Disclaimer: NO. POKEMON IS NOT PROPERTY OF GALEFIRE. IT BELONGS TO THAT SATOSHI GUY.**

**000000000000000000000000000**

"Kyouhei, if you want to express your feelings for Mei, it's best you do it by giving her something she'll really appreciate. Valentines day IS just around the corner."

"But Hugh, how can Valentines day be just around the corner? A day can't turn corners, silly!"

Hugh let out a groan of irritation, rainging a hand to his face with a long, defeated sigh. This was going nowhere. Numerous times he had tried to explain the brown haired boy how to win Mei's heart, and every time it ended in disaster. He just didn't get it.

The quilfish haired trainer looked up, his narrowed red eyes meeting the innocent blue ones of his friend, sparkling with confusion. "Never mind," He instructed sternly. "What I'm saying is you should get her a gift. Girls love receiving presents."

"I like presents," Kyouhei cocked his head. "Am I a girl?"

"That would explain a lot..." Hugh muttered under his breath. The childlike trainer DID act more feminine then most girls he knew.

That was a scary thought.

Hugh brought himself back to the currant subject. "NO. That's not what I'm trying to say. Look, as I've gathered from the amount of time I've had to spend with females, it seems they have an odd attraction to men with a sense of dominance. By spontaneously giving her a gift, you'll show that you are able to take matters..." Hugh trailed off, irritation rising in his chest. "Are you even listening?"

Kyouhei giggled as he watched a small group of Cottonees float over head, the fluffy white sustance that made up their form illuminated by the faint glow shimmering down between the leaves of the forest's many trees. He watched for what seemed like ages to the blue haired trainer, attention fully taken by the little creatures above, before finally turning back to his companion, realizing that he had stopped talking.

"Did you say something Hugh?" He asked innocently.

Hugh's eye twitched slightly, fighting to keep his cool. He had never been the one to hold his temper, try as he might, and had a tendency. Hugh had known the blue eyed boy long enough to be aware if the fact that he wasn't purposely trying to annoy him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel Kyouhei was REALLY pushing his luck at the moment.

"GET MEI A PRESENT!" He snapped finally, deciding to take the short route to his point. He instantly regretted this, however, remembering how sensitive his friend could be.

Kyouhei starred at him intently, nibbling on his lip, looking a fair amount lost. "Why? Is it her Birthday?" Suddenly, he gaped, tears forming in his large cerulean eyes. "I forget her Birthday! Now she's going to hate me forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever AND EVER AND E-" Hugh quickly slammed his hand over his mouth.

"No! It's not her Birthday!" He growled harshly. "As I've said MANY TIMES before, it's Va- Oh never mind, just come with me!" Without a moments hesitation, he grabbed his friend by the arm, swiftly jumping off the ground and sprinting out of the forest.

**000000000000000000000000000**

"Are you sure she wouldn't like this?" Kyouhei pouted, holding up one of Justin Bidoof's numerous CD's.

Hugh rolled his eyes, not looking up from signed posters of the famous band (at least among girls), One Dialga.

"No, I can guarantee she's not into that. If Mei were to be into any star, it'd be Selena Golurk!" The pineapple haired rival held up a large, white covered biography of the famous... *cough* "singer", voiced laced with sarcasm. He put the book down roughly.

"But he's spiffy!" The childish boy did the same with the CD.

Hugh, who had already begun to walk away, knit his brows in confusion. "Where the hell did you learn to say that?"

"Grandma says it all the time!~" Kyouhei sang joyously, skipping after him.

After the very one-sided discussion they had had in the forest, the two trainers had set out on their way to the nearest mall, in hopes to find something their female friend would like. However, so far, they hadn't had any luck, and Hugh felt just about ready to drop the whole idea entirely. It honestly didn't matter too much whether or not his friends got together, it was only that Mei's odvious affection for the brown haired and Kyouhei's oblivious nature towards the fact had begun to get to him.

Hugh sighed as he starred out at the scenery before him, Kyouhei's random ranting falling dead to his ears. As cheap as Virbank City's mall was, it honestly was fairly eye-pleasing. Brown doors spread all across the building, smooth and surprisingly clean, omit a few areas here and their. The walls were a calm shade of green, adding a natural effect to the room. Potted plants of assorted varieties were dotted here and there, most behind the black leather seats that existed only for customers convenience. Hugh couldn't help but feel a warm, content feeling spread through him as he inspected the shopping area. He wished he could have this feel forever, never to be distur-

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Kyouhei suddenly yelled loudly as the two left the music shop, breaking Hugh's fantasies. The brown haired boy was waving his hand like maniac in one direction, trying urgently to get his attention.

..._Lovely._

Before Hugh could even find the brain cells to respond, the trainer had already sprinted his way over to whatever he found so interesting, rummaging through the display bin. Hugh walked over slowly, curious to see what had captured his friend's attention, but at the same time a little scared to find out.

Kyouhei flipped around, apparently having found what he had been looking for, beaming so brightly the sun would be jealous.

"Do you think Mei would like this cool purse thingy?" He asked curiously, holding up the object he held firmly in his hand.

Hugh felt his face go a colour not unlike that of a cherry.

'_My Arceus,_' He thought, clamping a hand over his mouth in shock. "_He really is naive..._"

The artifact Kyouhei had found was a pink... Frilly...

BRA.

Still blushing madly, Hugh slapped the object out of his friend's hand, quickly shoving it back into the box where it had been found. He could feel people's gazes boring into him, either disgusted or shocked at the action they had just seen, the "offender" oblivious to it all.

"Kyouhei," Hugh muttered through clenched teeth. "Let's go."

"But-" He made an attempt to protest.

"GO!" The red eyed trainer snapped, giving him a little shove.

Kyouhei, just as confused as ever, blinked as he was pushed, but started to walk neverless, still unaware of the other's reactions. Hugh followed after, stomach churning with embarrassment.

'_Note to self,_' He thought as he walked. '_NEVER let him go shopping on his own_.'

**000000000000000000000000000**

After the little "incident", Hugh had made the suggestion they go to a book store next, knowing full well that Mei happened to absolutely adore reading, which Kyouhei joyously obliged to.

'_A book store,'_ Hugh said to himself, flipping absentmindedly through some random trainer's guide. '_Innocent enough._'

He could only PRAY Kyouhei didn't find a copy of Breaking Dawn, and just HAPPEN to flip to a certain page. Because quite honestly, being the one to give the fourteen year-old "the talk" for the first time was the LAST thing Hugh ever wanted to do.

"You need help with somethin'?" A rough voice croaked from above him, tearing his limited attention away from his read.

Hugh was just about to answer negative to the person's question, but found the words fell dead in his throat as he saw who had spoken. A man, roughly in his sixtys, stood before him, wearing the creepiest expression High had even seen.

And he knew N.

The guy was large, towering over the blue haired trainer and blocking all sources of light from his presence. Only a few, greasy black hairs stuck to his wrinkly for head, out-numbered by the massive amount of warts that grew in the same area. Tiny, unfocused, clear eyes starred directly into Hugh's soul, holding the look of someone who shoved lawnmowers down goats throats and then threw them off buildings for fun.

"U-uh... I-I was just... Uh... I... Well..." Hugh blundered uselessly, tripping over each word.

The man let out a low, evil-sounding laugh. "What you shopping fo', little boy?"

"A girl." Hugh answered instinctively. Seeing the man grin, he quickly corrected himself. "Well, uh, I'm not. M-my friend is... Shopping... For a girl. A present! For a girl... Not an actual girl. That would be... Creepy..." He chuckled nervously, casting a glance over to Kyouhei.

The creeper followed his gaze, raising an eyebrow as he saw the teenager, struggling over a children's book.

"The... Han... No, wait, hungry... L-little..." Kyouhei squinted down at the words, frowning. "This book is hard..."

Hugh shifted awkwardly as his gaze turned back to him.

"He's a little... Stupid..." He admitted.

The man blinked, before breaking out into yet another horrifying smirk.

"I see." He leaned in, making Hugh feel even more awkward. "So you got no girly, huh?"

"U-uh... No?"

"'Den I'm gonna' give you 'dis," The man reached into his coat pocket, producing what looked to be a crumpled up poster. Handing it to Hugh, he straightened up, patting the teen roughly on the shoulder. "Enjoy." He gave Pineapple-head a little wink, before stalking off, humming.

Hugh let loose a sigh of relief as the man left, thanking Arceus for sparing his life. Sliding down from the wall he had been leaning on to the carpeted floor, the boy slowly unfurled the paper he held in his hand, deciding to check out what stalker man had given him.

Which he instantly regretted.

"OH DEAR CRAP!" Hugh shouted, nearly throwing his cookies at what he saw. His face turned from green to red faster then a traffic light could ever manage.

Kyouhei turned away from "The Very Hungry Caterpie" to see what the commotion was all about, frowning.

"What do you have, Hugh?" He asked, suddenly brightening up. "A present for Mei?"

"No! No! NO! Stay away!" Hugh yelled at the top of lungs, backing up quickly.

The brown haired teen cocked his head, walking up to his spazzing friend. "Can I see?"

Hugh hastily leapt to his feet, rolling up the poster in the same manor. "No. Never."

Kyouhei pouted, looking hurt. "Please?"

"NO."

"Please?"

"I already gave you my answer!" Hugh responded defiantly.

"Please please pretty pretty please with a cherry on top!" Kyouhei begged.

"N-O. NO!" Hugh growled, turning to leave.

Kyouhei's upset expression shifted, turning into one of playful sneakiness, yet somehow still holding the childlike innocence his large eyes portrayed so well. Swift as a Bravery's talons, he snatched the posted from under his friend arm, darting back to a safe distance.

Feeling the movement of the thievery, the blue haired trainer quickly swirled around, crimson eyes wide with panic. His fear only grew worse as he saw Kyouhei, opening the paper slowly to reveal its contents.

"GIVE THAT BACK!" Hugh roared, attempting to tackle his legs, in hopes to make him drop the object. Kyouhei, quicker then he looked, dodged immediately, causing his rival to slam painfully into the dark green wall. Thankfully for Hugh, his stupid hair took most of the blow, even though the action was still remarkably painful. The room spun, his vision going blurry, giving Kyouhei the chance to slip away without Hugh noticing where he ran off to.

Forcing himself to get up despite his throbbing head, Hugh stumbled past the few people in the shop, not even caring about the odd looks he was receiving.

"Kyouhei... Get... Back here!" He panted, serching desperately for his friend, to no avail. It wasn't a large book store, so where the hell was he?

Fiction, Non-fiction, fantasy, magazines, useless crap... Hugh ran by all the sections, searching for anyone who clearly had never had a haircut. He had to stop Kyouhei, before-

"I don't get it." Hugh froze as a familer, curious sounding voice rang out from behind him, causing him to flip around instantly.

There was Kyouhei, in all his godly haired glory, shaking his head down at the item he held in his hands: the poster. His eyes held the same puzzlement as his tone.

"What do you mean, 'I don't be get it?!'" Hugh mimicked incredulously, mouth going agape.

"I mean I don't get it." He responded, brows furling together. "It's just a Kiria and a Grimer..."

Hugh starred, eyes practically bulging out of his head, before lifting out an odd sounding laugh, twitching just a little bit.

"You... You don't know what's going on in that picture?"

"Nope. Is that a good thing?"

Hugh was too busy having a mental celebration to answer his question. "Oh thank everything good and wholesome! I-I love you so, so much right now, Arceus!"

"Hey, Hugh? What's the Grimer doing with her-"

"Okay, I think that's enough for today." Hugh snatched the poster away, feeling his sanity slowly return to him. "Let's just get this STUPID gift, so Mei will finally know that you love her, just like she loves you."

"Wait." Kyouhei blinked. "Mei doesn't love me."

Hugh laughed sharply, shaking his head. "Look, I know you haven't noticed yet, but she clearly-"

"No." The teen responded, surprising firmly. "I already asked her about that. She said she only wanted to stay friends."

"What the- HUH?!"

"Yep!" Kyouhei nodded cheerfully. "But she did say she had a crush on you! Whatever that means."

Hugh's red eyes grew wide, trembling in utter shock as his mouth dropped open. His face took the odd, white shade of old chalk, before he groaned in exasperation, falling backwards onto the ground, unconcious.

Kyouhei frowned, looking concerned. "Hugh, I don't think this is the place to be taking naps..." His gaze wandered to a nearby bookshelf, curiously inspecting each title, before falling excitedly onto one. "Oh! Breaking Dawn! I wonder what that's about..."

_**~*Fin*~**_


End file.
